Most people in relationships are unaware of their partner’s love language, they find it hard to express their love and care for their partner. And this is the major reason why most people don’t receive Love from their partners.

There are different ways you can express your love and affection towards your partner. Those ways are what we term Love Languages.

Love language describe the way people express their love to their partner as well as receive love from their partner.

Everyone in a relationship has a definite way of expressing their love and a preferred way of receiving Love.

Everyone desires to show his/her partner how much they love and care about them, but most times they struggle to deliver the message in a way it would create an Impact or touch the heart of their partner.

Dr. Gary Chapman, from his experience in marriage and counseling, gave the knowledge of Love Language in his book ‘The five Love languages: the secret to love that lasts”.

If you are having difficulties in your relationship, based on how to express love to your partner, or you are yet to find out the best way your partner receives love, then you’ll have to harness Dr. Gary’s book.

The major five love languages are:

Words of Affirmation: Words of affirmation are preferred by people who value oral appreciation, acknowledgment, and affection. They love to hear their partner say “I love you”, always. They enjoy loving words, romantic text messages, love notes, love chats, and encouragements.

Say nice things about their outfit, new hair, makeup, shoes, and jewelry, you have made their day.

Quality Time: “I enjoy spending time with my partner” they usually say. Someone with this love language can receive love and affection through undivided attention from their partner.

Spend time with them, hang out with them, give them listening ears, eye contact, and your full presence and they would feel the most loved.

Mahmud said, “This love language is all about giving your full attention to the special one

without distraction from any external force or interference”.

Act of service: If you appreciate it when your partner is always there to make your life easier, by doing nice things for you such as breakfast in bed, cooking food for you, carrying out some of your chores especially when you are busy, then this is your love language.

Again Mahmud explained further saying that people with this love language believe in actions more than words- they believe that action speaks louder than words- they don’t want to hear how much you love them, they want to see it.

Gifts: Gift as a love language is simply, feeling loved when your partner gets you gifts (visual symbols of love as defined by Dr. Chapman.

People with this love language, value not just the gifts but also the reasons behind them. The size, price, and appearance of the gift don’t matter to them, what matters to them is the love that comes with the gift. Not every one that accepts gifts has “Gift” as their love language.

These people do not forget any gift given to them by their partners, no matter how little or large, it will have a huge impact on them.

Physical Touch: This is for people that feel loved when they receive physical touch like cuddling, sex, kissing, and holding hands. They feel a kind of intimacy and emotional connection when they are touched.

These people feel appreciated when they are hugged, cuddled, or kissed, they value the feeling that comes with physical touching.

How can you find your Love Language? These questions will assist you:

Words of affirmation;

Do you like to hear your partner say ” I love you” to you?

Do you love being praised?

Do you like it when your partner remark on your new hair, clothes, shoes, and new nails?

Do you like to hear your partner comment on your achievements?

Quality Time:

Do you long for your partner’s presence always?

Do you desire his uninterrupted attention?

Do you enjoy being with your partner even when you are not doing anything?

Do you feel loved when he calls or texts you?

Acts of Service:

Do you feel loved when your partner helps out with some responsibilities?

Do you feel good when he/she steps in to assist you?

Do you feel taken care of when he/she comes through for you when you needed someone?

Do you believe in action more than words?


Do you love the gift-giving process?

Do you appreciate even the smallest gifts?

Are you reminded of something sensational and special after receiving a gift from your partner?

Do you feel cared for and loved when given a gift?


Are you the PDA (Public Display of Affection ) kind of person?

Do you always look forward to hugs, long embraces, kissing, and cuddling?

Do you believe in “the closer the better”?

Doe you feel loved through sex?

As you go through the Q and A exercise, you’ll get ideas on what your love language might be.

Likely, you will not have the same love language as your partner is common. But you and your partner will have to try to fit in each other’s love language and learn to speak it for a healthier relationship.

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